14 Stupid-Expensive Luxuries You Never Knew You Wanted

Living & Spending
on July 7, 2014

We’ve all lusted after a luxury spend or two, and hey, name-brand quality occasionally warrants a splurge. But the rest of the time, we strive not to overspend—and later, as we enjoy a retrospective what was I thinking moment, we laugh. Sometimes really, really hard . Here are 14 luxury items we’d love to have if the price tags didn’t tickle us pink.

Hermes GloveHermès Baseball Glove

If you’re going to play catch, you might as well do it in style—Hermès style, that is. The Parisian luxury brand offers a baseball glove made from gold swift calfskin that takes 25 hours of work to hand-stitch and -finish. Watch out, though, because this extraordinary glove comes with the extraordinary price tag of $14,100.

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OOMS Staples


OOMS Gold-Plated Staples

Tired of the same-old, same-old office supplies? Then pick up a set of OOMS’ 14-karat gold-plated staples for $80. The staples are primarily intended to be worn as jewelry, according to the website, but OOMS says they can also be applied to just about anything using an ordinary stapler.

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Gucci Bike


Gucci Bicycle

While Gucci is mainly known for its leather goods and apparel, you need look no further than the company’s “Bianca by Gucci” carbon urban bike for truly lavish personal transportation. Featuring a black seat and handlebars that evoke the company’s iconic diamante pattern, this bike will only set you back $15,400.

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Chanel Jump RopeChanel Jump Rope

Finding the motivation to exercise can be tough, but Chanel’s sleek jump rope will ensure you look forward to your workouts. Boasting a $1,400 price—a relative bargain compared to the Gucci bike—the jump rope is made with carbon handles and comes with a quilted case to protect your investment.

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door stickerMargiela Wall Decal

Maison Martin Margiela’s Trompe-l’œil wall sticker just might be the most expensive adhesive product ever, coming in at $640 dollars for a life-size reproduction of “typically Haussmannian” double doors. Although to be fair, this sticker is probably cheaper than knocking a hole in a wall and installing actual double doors.

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RulerAsprey Ruler

Feel like royalty as you measure everyday objects using the sterling silver Britannia Ruler from Asprey. Engraved with the names of every English monarch, the ruler will cost you a royal fee of $2,150, so you just might actually need to be a king or queen to justify the price.

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Tiffany's StrawTiffany’s Sterling Silver Straw

Tiffany’s is renowned for its diamonds, but the company manufactures many other luxury goods so your home can have that special Tiffany’s touch, too. Sip your mint julep out of their crystal glasses using this delicate sterling silver Butterfly Straw, which can be yours for only $275. Hey, at least it’s reusable.

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lashesKre-at Diamond Lashes

For the eyelashes that need a little extra sparkle, pick up a pair of Kre-at Beauty’s Diamond Half Lashes at Barney’s New York. Made with 0.2 carats of diamonds set in 18-karat white gold, these lashes can guarantee your eyes will shine like diamonds for only $1,350.

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Saint Laurent SkatesSaint Laurent Roller Skates

While these Saint Laurent High Top Roller Skates take their inspiration from the classic childhood sport, the $1,195 price tag indicates that they are just for grownups. And with a timeless high top sneaker design featuring black leather accents, you’ll give the phrase “high roller” an entirely new spin.

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Creme de la MerCrème de la Mer

Both beauty experts and celebrities swear by Crème de la Mer, a moisturizing cream that visibly firms the skin and reduces wrinkles and pores using its trademarked Miracle Broth. Unfortunately, those near-miraculous results are reflected in the price, as Crème de la Mer costs a whopping $150 per ounce.

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Louis Vuittion StationaryLouis Vuitton Stationary

If regular stationary is simply too pedestrian for you, Louis Vuitton has got you covered with its “Connaisseur” collection. Starting at $340 for a set, its laid papers are embossed with the Louis Vuitton trunk and watermark to ensure that everyone you write knows just how seriously you take your paper products.

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Lanvin Wedding AlbumLanvin Wedding Album

Hate giving yet another crock pot to newlywed friends? Look no further than high fashion house Lanvin’s Wedding Picture Album. While the unoriginal name and plain white satin cover may make this photo album seem unremarkable, make no mistake—at $550, this gift is only for the most discerning of brides.

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Cirrus Ice PressCirrus Ice Ball Press

Williams-Sonoma’s Cirrus Ice Ball Press Kit creates spheres of ice that will perfectly chill that expensive cocktail you’re drinking without diluting its flavor. You can buy the small press for only $699.94, while the large press is $1,095.95—or you could just find a bar that serves drinks with round ice cubes. Or you could just submit to the cubed ice of common folk. Your call.

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Toy ElephantTrampili Toy Elephant

Forget rocking horses, and give your favorite child a Trampili Riding Elephant instead from the high-end toy company Steiff. Your little one is sure to have hours of fun pretending to take this miniature elephant on a safari—just maybe not $585 worth of fun, because that’s what this plush pachyderm will cost you.

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Would you drop this kind of cash for any of these items? Comment below.

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